On doing little, and how that is fine
I once read this great book, "How to be Idle" and it's counterpart "How to be Free" they are about what it says on the tin, and about more, bigger picture things.
I am in the middle of a few months phase when I am not doing a ton of "productive" things. Sure, some. Like looking into new housing, doing my job, planning for the future. Cooking and keeping my home reasonably clean. D&D sometimes.
Also, fingerboarding with friendly acquaintances at a big fingerboard park, Reddit and Youtube, interesting rabbit holes. Certainly being home and online, a lot. VMs and lots of messaging with friends online. Smallish walks, eating out. None of those activities are especially productive or useful or will get you much admiration or kudos.
And that is all grand. I have always had extremely busy periods (really too much so at times, they broke me down now and then) followed by comparatively idle periods. I know I won't do what I am doing now for another half year, it is not in my nature, I know I will be quite active eventually again, likely in a few months when I go back to Valencia.
I think it is the beating yourself up over "I should do more" or "things are different now, they are "less", therefore I am less (worthy)", are the potentially really damaging thing. Not the ebb and flow that you see in almost every individual, and in nature, society or even during various periods in history.
Even this post, it is short. And this blog generally, I have posted relatively little in last few months. I could feel bad about that. I feel the opposite. Instead, I feel good about all I have already posted, that I got a lot of my top of mind ideas out there and that posting does not feel like a responsibility, something I must do every week or more. It is a joy, a privilege that I only engage in when it feels like it is time and fun to do so.
There is huge difference between being lazy, consistently and being idle, somewhat regularly.