The unexpected ways I made good and kind friends as an adult
Ordell, my best friend of more than a decade I talk to daily. We met because we were both volunteering as bike mechanics for a non-profit. At the time, I was absolutely broke and had no leads on any jobs for the near future, despite applying.
The cycling based non-profit had a messaging group with about fifteen persons. Ordell was one of them. I had never met him and barely exchanged any messages with him, but he knew I knew stuff bike tech-wise, that I had worked as a pro before.
I posted in that group and was honest about my dire financial consequences and explained I was willing to do almost any small job, just to buy myself a little time.
Ordell kindly invited me to his place, to finish a bike (took an hour or maaaybe two) that needed work, even though he could 100% do it himself as well and he didn't make much money. And he gave me €20 and bought me a Pizza. I never forgot that kindness. He is certainly: "one of the helpers" that Mr. Rogers talks about. I have of course tried to repay that favour a hundred fold, I insist on buying him plenty of dinners now that I have been doing financially just fine for years. Yet he never stopped helping me, with so many things, without him, my life would be poorer for it, in almost every aspect, socially, emotionally, financially and more.
We have gone on vacations together, been in various countries hanging out, talked about 1000s of topics, exchanged 10.000+ memes, played D&D and table-tennis, still bond over bikes frequently and so much more.. Sometimes you have to ask for help, when you do, a certain kind of person may well step up and shine.
Arthur, I met him at the famous (in some circles) ASI fingerboarding shop. He is a lot younger than I, and from a rather different cultural background. Yet we bonded over our shared loved of this obscure but great community, hobby and third space. A pursuit that very few people know about and even less think is "cool". Yet it is, for us.
Many hangs, f-boarding sessions, ping pong games, Pizza's, Döners, bike rides and upgrading bikes hangs as well as near daily online pleasant (messenger) conversations,. and a few years later, Arthur is one of my very best friends.
Luke, I met years ago while he was working as a promoter of a new product, on my street, at a convenience store very close to my apartment front door. At the time I still smoked spliffs with some frequency, and I was smoking one as I walked outside. Since the product he was promoting was something I was certainly interested in, I very briefly chatted with him.
As we talked for a few minutes he truly casually mentioned he was about to go on lunch break, but forgot his wallet at home. I asked him if he would be working there tomorrow too. He confirmed that. Grabbed my wallet, gave him €10. "Pay me tomorrow, I am sure you are good for it." He was.
Turn out he was a plug,. in the 420 business, totally as a side-line, not his main income. From then on, for years he gave me and friends the best price and was the most reliable hook-up. We became friendly acquaintances.
We played a little pong and had a few hangouts or a drink, we lived a bit far away from each other and both were busy and even out of the city a lot. Now we have lived in different countries for some years. He always did really good by me.
Despite living in different countries now and him having a family and traveling plenty as a salesman and promoter or for vacation, we are still in touch today sometimes. He very long ago left behind the 420 thing, as did I.
Those experiences above and the enduring acquaintances or friendships that resulted is just one of the many reasons why this entire blog has the tag-line:
"Show up. Care. Repeat."
You will almost never make many IRL friends sitting solely at home, alone. You likely won't end up getting invited to great hangs or become part of new communities if you don't show up in person with some frequency. If you don't regularly talk to (new) people and don't invite them to things, your life will likely be much poorer for it.
Here you can read another very short story about why showing up, and D&D, the friends you make through D&D really matter. And why not cancelling is important:
https://anon0.bearblog.dev/dd-dnd-how-it-truly-matters-to-adults-why-i-dont-cancel/